Some definitions that are important for discussing myself and consent
-This is anything that I have actually decided to do or have started doing.
-I believe that this is the same/similar thing that people might call emotional needs. They also come the closest to what I would actually define as ‘desire’. Basically, if something is a driving desire, that means it’s very important to me, if I get it it means a lot, and also I want/need it on some level wherein if I don’t get it, there is an unfulfilledness there.
The thing that allows me to ‘diagnose’ something as a driving desire is that something ‘happens’ when it is unfulfilled. Sometimes that’s simple- my mind goes back to it over and over again. Sometimes it’s personally unpleasant, but OK- I cry in stairways, I curl up on my bed in ‘despair’ of a sort. Sometimes it’s a bit problematic- I start steering conversations in certain directions in the sheer subconscious hope that a topic I go to will bring about the effect I want, I drop ridiculous hints about things I feel that I can’t say. Sometimes it’s more problematic.
Also, as a general rule, having one of these things happen is the only way I get to consciously know that something is a driving desire. I’ve had at least a few times when I thought something was simply a want, or didn’t know it was a thing at all, until one of the above things started happening.
-This is anything where, if someone asked ‘do you want to do this/ would you like to do this’ I would have the answer ‘yes’. This can be something I’ve done before, something I haven’t done before but want to try, something I want to do for the process, something I want to do for the goal- anything.
-This is anything that I have done and feel positively about for its own sake, or anything that I haven’t done but predict this feeling for (if I subsequently do it and feel differently, it gets moved to the corresponding list), but that isn’t on the wants list.
-This is anything that I have done and for its own sake feel neither positive nor negative about, or anything that I haven’t done but predict this feeling for (again, if I subsequently do it and feel differently, it gets moved to the corresponding list).
-This is anything that I have done and feel, for its own sake, negatively about, or anything that I haven’t done but predict this feeling for (again about moving).
-This is anything that I can’t/won’t/don’t want to do because of some issue I have, separately from whether I do or don’t like it. (Note that for a lot of these, I really don’t know how I properly feel about them, since the issues pop up before I can try to make that kind of judgment.)