Specific Narrative Kinks: The constrict being afraid of the principal

What do I mean by this:

I think this one’s pretty self explanatory.

How does it manifest:

There are a lot of ways. If it’s a story from the constrict’s point of view, this can be explicitly stated in various ways. The principal can observe it, whether in their own thoughts or outloud. Tone of voice and body language can do a lot – the constrict’s voice can shake, or they can be shuddering, or answering questions so quickly they stumble over the words, or nodding very quickly and making hurried assurances, or hesitating perceptibly before doing or saying something the principal might find upsetting. There can be the idea that the constrict is trying very hard to obey the principle exactly and being very careful not to anger them.

Divergent subcategories:

To me, this kink divides into two very distinct types: ‘the constrict is afraid of the principal’, and ‘the constrict is afraid of the principle, but __’.

The latter involves things like ‘the constrict is afraid of the principle, but still defiant’, ‘the constrict is afraid of the principal, but trying their best to control it’, ‘the constrict is afraid of the principal, but still won’t give them the information they’re after/compromise their morals/etc’.

The former is just about fear, period. It’s more likely to include more of the tone and body language manifestations described above. The latter is much more about the constrict feeling fear because the principal is scary, but not letting it control them.

To me, this is a very significant division. The two feel different to me, and I like them in very different ways. In one rather major distinction, the ‘fear, period’ dynamic is not one in which I like focus on the principal actually physically hurting the constrict. It’s more about scenarios like giving orders, walking down a hallway while everyone cowers, etc. If the principal does hurt the constrict, then it should be for some outside reason like being so angry they hit the first person they see, or doing it for the benefit of some other party.

Also, I very often enjoy this dynamic ‘in the background’ of a scenario – perhaps the principal is showing a newly-captured constrict around their domain, and meanwhile we see that all the servants are terrified of them.

Meanwhile, the ‘afraid, but __’ dynamic is one that appears in some form in most of the negative power dynamic scenarios I enjoy, I definitely do like it when it involves the principal hurting the constrict, and it’s much more likely to apply to the ‘main’ constrict in a scenario.

Actionable counterpart:

I’ve roleplayed a mildly ‘afraid, but __’ dynamic, and enjoyed it. Roleplaying a more severe version appeals to me.

I’ve also roleplayed a ‘fear, period’ dynamic, but in a format where my character was the main constrict, and was being physically hurt. I enjoyed this too. This might be an example of what I talked about in “a distinction in kinks”  wherein I’m more flexible about physical elements being combined with various dynamics in scene than I am in story.

Specific Narrative Kinks: Waking up the constrict

What do I mean by this:

This is a situation where the constrict is woken up abruptly because the principal wants something with them. Dragged out of bed, guards banging on the cell door, sudden bright lights and a demand over a loudspeaker, etc. Even as mundane a situation as being in a labor camp and being woken up for work in the morning.

Important distinction:

I know some people who have a kink for things beginning to be done to the constrict while they are still asleep. I don’t have that kink. For me, this is specifically about the moment of being woken up and waking up – nothing else is happening yet, but it will, whether something the constrict expects or something they don’t know about yet.

Actionable counterpart:

I have no desire at all to actually be woken up from sleep in a scene context. However, roleplaying this kind of situation is definitely something I’d love to try.

A distinction in kinks

The kinks I have can be sorted into two major categories. There’s narrative kinks, which are things I enjoy in story, and actionable kinks, which are things I enjoy in real scenes involving me.

Some things fall into both categories. Some things fall into both categories, but somewhat differently. Some things are narrative kinks but not actionable ones (since some of my tastes in stories are rather extreme, there are a lot of these). Some things are actionable kinks but not narrative ones (most prominently, I like the spanking kind of corporal punishment in every dynamic I’ve tried so far in scene, but only in a few dynamics in story).

Mostly on here I’ve been talking about my narrative kinks, occasionally with notes about how they apply or don’t apply to my actionable ones. Being interested in figuring out my actionable kinks as well as my narrative ones, I’m going to be trying to do more of these notes. As such, stay tuned for new sections in the narrative kinks series entries.

Specific Narrative Kinks: Indirect reprimands for lack of an honorific

Background:

First of all, in order for this to make sense, I probably have to first like honorifics to begin with. Which I do. Specifically, I like pretty much anything used as an honorific – I’m quite fond of sir/ma’am/miss, my Lord/my Lady, etc, but I’m equally fond of Mr./Ms. LastName, Doctor, Agent, Officer, military ranks, fictional honorifics, etc. Even someone’s first name works when it’s being used accordingly. (Incidentally, the one glaring exception I’ve found to this thus far is ‘Master’, which I don’t seem to like in this context. I’m not sure why). Mostly, I like the way they put the feeling of the power dynamic into otherwise perfectly mundane sentences, make it so manifestly present in interactions, and can bring it into situations where the principal isn’t present.

Now, what do I mean by this title:

So, if a constrict is supposed to be using an honorific, and doesn’t, a direct reprimand would be something like ‘Hey, you’re supposed to call me Honorific X, and you didn’t!’ (though hopefully phrased somehow differently, because otherwise I’m not going to have any respect whatsoever for the principal in question – which can be fun in its own way, but generally not in a kinky one). An indirect reprimand is anything else.
“Yes, what?” is a common example. “What do you call me?” is one I’ve used. In a story I read recently, I encountered the exchange, “I’m sorry.” “You’re what now?” “I’m sorry. Sir”

Other notes:

This is one of the smaller ones. I like it, I notice it, I include it in my works, but it’s not one that’s ever caught at my mind particularly, and I’m satisfied enough with the small moments it occupies – I have no desire for elaboration, or a story devoted entirely to it, or anything like that.

Specific Narrative Kinks: Not Immediately Tangible Restraints

What do I mean by this:

Well, most restraints that appear in stories are immediately tangible – they are right there and restraining the character right now. Handcuffs, ropes, cell bars, being chained to walls, that kind of thing. (These, by the way, are all things I very often enjoy as well. But they’re not what this post is about).

This post is about restraints that are there, but aren’t active. They’re lying dormant instead of actively restraining, and they will remain that way right until the point when the constrict tries to do the thing the restraints are meant to guard against.

In my own work, I made up a thing called Prisoner’s Bracelets – they are, as the name suggests, metal bracelets that go around a person’s wrists, and when they’re not activated, do not interfere with the person’s movement at all. However, they come with a ‘remote control’ that can make them adhere to any selected solid object – each other, the ground, a railing, a chain, etc. And they can be ‘programmed’, so it would be possible to keep someone in a house simply by having the the bracelets activate and stick them to the wall any time they try to cross the boundary.

In other works, the thing that comes to mind most immediately is Spike from Buffy the Vampire Slayer, who has a chip implanted in his head that’s meant to keep him from hurting people. As long as he’s not trying to hurt anyone, he’s absolutely fine. If he tries, he gets hit with debilitating pain.

A similar ‘triggering debilitating pain’ form played a central role in a fanfic series I read, where it is the effect of a ‘bond of tenure’ that enforces obedience to the principal’s orders.

Important Ingredients:

The thing that generally activates my kink for this is the constrict’s explicit awareness of the restraint. The restraint just being there does offer satisfaction, but it’s the acknowledgment that makes it ‘exciting’. In a video, the constrict explaining the situation to someone else will do it, as will, in the case of Prisoner’s Bracelets and the like, something like them looking at the ‘line’ that they can’t cross, then at the bracelets, and making an acknowledging expression or sigh. Things like tone and facial expression are generally very important here.

Related things:

A standing threat that is taken as absolutely true can play this role as well. So, if the constrict was told ‘I’ll be watching you, and if you talk to anyone wearing a blue shirt, I will have you beaten’, and they totally believe that the principal can and will do this, this will play into this kink for me. Similarly, the constrict being say, followed by a guard who is ready to grab them and administer some punishment should they ‘cross the line’ also would. In both these case, the important thing is, again, the constrict’s active awareness of the situation, and the tone of their attitude toward it.

In which a series is announced

So as I said in the previous post, I generally have a lot trouble figuring out my kinks in a comprehensively organized fashion. But there are also things that I do figure out, things where I can say with certainty ‘I like this, and I know what it is’. They come in all various ways of me liking them, and cover categories of all various scopes, from ‘I like fruit pies’ to ‘I like dishes with rice’ to ‘I like those cookies that are chocolate and have white chocolate chips and nuts and marshmallows’.

And I’m starting a series where I’m going to post about them. Stay tuned!

A Thought on Thinking about My Kinks

Not so long ago, I went to a community event where I met a very interesting person who is also a sex educator. Conversations with her, attending a class she led, and reading her website a bit after I got home reminded me yet again of something I’ve wanted for a while: I want to figure out my kink in an organized fashion. What exactly do I like and in what way, what are the common patterns and trends and connections. This almost immediately led to another reminder: that is something I have a lot of trouble doing.

Now, as I think is pretty well demonstrated by this blog, I’m a person who likes to have things organized. Having an organized conceptualization of ideas is what allows me to understand them, to think about them best, and, of course, to explain them to others. I also like to self examine, and I also like to think about kink. So this, exactly at the intersection of three of my favorite things, seems like an absolutely perfect thing for me to be doing. And yet, I can’t seem to make it work. Which of course leads directly to the question of ‘why?’.

The first analogy I came up with was that it’s as though someone asked me what foods I liked, and I said “well, apples, and rice pilaf, and oatmeal with honey, and fried ice-cream, and raw carrots, and pomegranates, and grilled chicken sandwiches, and crepes…” All of which is absolutely true, but neither organized, nor helpful for figuring out overarching patterns.

Alright, I thought then, If I were giving somebody that kind of list of foods I liked, what would be the way to put it in order? And the answer to that was pretty simple – bringing up categories, and asking more specific questions. “What kinds of vegetables do you like?” “What do you eat for breakfast?” “What is special occasion food for you?”

And this led me straight to the root of the thinking-about-kink issue – when it comes to my kink, I know neither the categories, nor the questions.

Categories and questions are usually community matters. I know what a vegetable is because I learned this, not because I came up with it myself. Someone can ask me what I eat for breakfast because we both know what breakfast is, and share the conceptualization of dining that includes this meaning.

And the problem is that when it comes to my kink, I don’t have this kind of community. Instead, it’s like I’ve spent my whole life in a variety of buffets, most of which did not label their dishes, and none of which coordinated any labels they did use (chicken with cashew nuts is very similar to chicken with mixed vegetables, but the categories ‘vegetables’ and ‘cashew nuts’ are not actually parallel). I know I’ve eaten foods I liked, and foods I didn’t like, and foods I was mostly neutral towards, and foods I was allergic too, and foods where upon trying them I wanted to eat nothing but that for the next week. But trying to figure out a structure to view it all in – I don’t even know where to start.

I’m not exactly sure what this conclusion leaves me with.

I know I want to find other people with kinks similar to mine (very often it’s the differences along with the commonalities that that demonstrate the categories, and it’s very rarely possible to make a graph with just one point).

I know I want to read or listen to more people talking about their kinks, and how they conceptualize them, also (Spiral, for instance, has a very interesting writing here, which also relates to my point about communities and thought organization).

I know I want to discuss my kinks with people who enjoy that kind of thing (often, an outside mind can come up with questions and connections that I never would have).

I know I’m going to keep trying, keep seeing if there are links and categories I can come up with, any patterns that I can see.

And I know that regardless of how close I can get to the destination, I do thoroughly enjoy the journey.

And this thought on thinking has been a step on that journey, and that is also good.

A Personal Update

Spiral, my very awesome play partner, is now also my very awesome boyfriend.

I have updated the ‘people’ page accordingly.